The Rest of a Really Bad Day

We are out in the chemo area waiting for the nurses to talk to us. Dr N tells us to sit in the chairs and wait. That is, sit in the chemo chairs right next to the chemo patients getting their treatments. I don't know about you all, but it kinda made me feel really uncomfortable and creeped me out. Don't get me wrong, I mean no offense to the patients, after all my husband will be doing the same thing soon. It's kinda like sitting in a wheel chair or walking with crutches when you don't have anything wrong with you. To me, I'm superstitious and that is bad luck. Now sitting out where the patients are and talking to nurses about our brand new health problems is uncomfortable because I think that should be a private thing and their treatment should be a private thing. And......mostly because I'm about to lose my composure.
All righty, one nurse starts talking to my hubs about rules and treatment, tears were already streaming down my face. I don't remember what she said that made me totally lose it, but I broke down, right there. I tried to hide my face away from them, then she said "are you allright?" The second nurse walked up to me and asked the same thing. Whenever someone asks that and I'm sad or kinda tearing up, I can never hold it back. That question just makes matters worse!! So here we go, my first melt down in public....2nd nurse grabs my arm and hauls me off to a back office. First she asked what was wrong. I'm sorry, what? Seriously you don't know?? I just found out that my sweetheart has a serious, life threatening disease invading his body and that it can't be cured. I don't know about you Ms Nurse, that alone is enough to break anybody down. She talked, telling me how important it is to be strong for my husband. Never, ever let him see me crying again. Gosh ma'm I didn't exactly do it on purpose, nor could I stop myself. I promise that I will never let him see me do that again!! I've sorta been holding it in for awhile.
Goodbye Oncologist Consultants........We are out of here. We are going to get in MD Anderson for the best treatment and doctors.